“Don’t put the hockey helmet on the dog!”
“Don’t lock you brother and the dog in the dog kennel!”
“Stop painting the dog with nail polish!”
“Don’t put glue in the bathtub!”
I realized today that I say tons of weird stuff that I NEVER thought I would say. Thanks to children my speech has changed. I never talked baby talk, I always thought it was weird. I had long conversations over a breastfeeding session with a 14 month old. Some of the things I said, I’ll probably never say again, until I have grandchildren, then I figure I’ll let them do what they want just to get back at my kids. So I’m listing some of my favorite momisms, what are yours?
“Don’t pee on the dog!”
“Who put spiderman in the toilet?”
“Cool superman toy, can you go show the dogs?”
“What is this red gook in my hair?”
“Is that poop on the TV?”
I promise these are all lines coined by me directed toward my children. This is why I am a full time mother, Life cannot be any better than this!