Motherhood, Wifedom & Me.

Las night I read an article, What Women Want in 2010: A husband who’ll be the main breadwinner is an article in the UK’s Daily Mail Online.  Even though it was based on stats from the UK, I highly suspect it would mirror true here in the United States.  It started me thinking about being a motherhood, wifedom and me.

Based on personal experiences over the last nine and a half years, I have found that being a full time mother and full time wife is appreciated by very few people.  Many times even the husbands who benefit from a full time mother and wife, fail to see the woman behind the kids.  I know of other women with BA degrees and Master’s degrees who choose to be stay at home mothers and wives.  I consistently hear and read about how little acknowledgement they get.  Many times, husbands don’t even give credit to the mothers of their children.  I realize that even though I could go out and get a job, that matches my degree or coincides with my children’s school schedule, I would still have to pay for childcare for the youngest, before and after school and who would take them to their extracurricular activities, i.e. karate, swimming, etc.?

I have always known I wanted to be a wife and mother.  I wanted to create a home where my husband had sanctuary and my children knew they were loved.  I earned my degree because I knew that when my children went to school full time I wanted to teach full time also.  I had it all worked out in my head, it was going to be just as I had imagined: an appreciative and loving husband, kids who adored and thanked me for my sacrifices, right, all imagined.  My husband is gone most of the time, so he doesn’t even see our house for six to eight months at a time.   My kids are out to get me and constantly do something to keep the house right on the edge of disaster.  I am scared to death of leaving my kids in childcare.  I don’t want anyone else raising my children.

One day, I may have to work, my children may have to be in 8-10 hours of childcare, it isn’t far fetched to think I’ll be one of the almost 75% of mothers who work.  For today though, I’ll be present in my children’s lives, do my best to make my home clean and comfortable.  I’ll take pride in my hard work and enjoy the insanity of my family.

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2 thoughts on “Motherhood, Wifedom & Me.

  1. I have a question. Has anyone in your personal life you care about made comments or remarks that make you feel like you must defend the fact you ARE such a hard working stay at home mom? It was the opposite for me. I was TOLD to be a good mom you had to stay home, cook, be what you are naturally, and so I have suffered. I have suffered with guilt over needing to leave, to work, to finally even divorce, all along with that “stigma” following me.
    I stopped defending my position just awhile ago, before school is to start, sat the girls down, sobbing, telling them how afraid I was that they would think me leaving to make money meant I was abandoning them, not being a good cook was a horrible example to them. They looked at me and Lola said, “But, mommy, who would believe in fairies?” Kat said, “Mom! We will go to school together.”
    Maybe being who I am is okay.
    Maybe my mother was you so I thought that was the “RIGHT” way.
    Maybe it is our conditioning, our beliefs, our husbands.
    The point is that we know who we are, and for our own peace and recognition, saying every day, that just that knowing, is enough.
    I still wish I could sew like you.
    I wish I had your patience.
    I wish I knew how to cook.
    Love you!
    http://www.buddhathepig.wordpress.com

  2. Yes, Katie, it happens quite a bit. BUT, I’ve realized that person has to have something to pick at and finds the small things. I’m learning to be above par and do my best.

    You are a great mother! You are doing exactly what is right for you. I wish I had your courage! One day, maybe…

    Love you, my friend.

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