I find myself complaining, A LOT! I complain when my husband works late, when I don’t want to cook dinner, when my two boys are whiny. I complain about my family living so far away, my dog tracking mud in on the floor, the scales aren’t displaying the right numbers. I complain mostly about my husband being deployed, my kids not having their father around as much as I think they should. I complain because I miss my husband, I want him here, with me, with my boys. I don’t want to worry about his safety. I feel this so deeply and sometimes it causes me pain and anger and bitterness. Sometimes I need a reminder of what I have.
Today I met a 24 year old mother of four, her oldest is 9 and the youngest is 2. She has no job, lives with her parents and siblings. I saw a girl who’s boyfriend just got out of jail and they are trying to get back on track. I also realized this is God’s way of reminding me how very blessed I am. I have so much to complain about, but in perspective I have nothing to complain about. I’ve seen children in the poorest parts of the country of Panama who treasured crayons. Children who had never lived in a house with running water or electricity. I’ve seen the faces of mothers who had no idea where they would get the food to feed their children.
Today I was reminded to be thankful. I have a nice home, with running water and electricity. I can feed my family every day and not worry about where their next meal will come from. I have a husband who loves me and loves his children. He works hard at a job he loves and is good at and separations are part of that. Today I will choose to give thanks and recognize the abundance of wealth I have around me. I will be thankful for my family and their health. I will find the good.
Even though, I don’t want to experience the sadness, the anger, the separation, the pain that leads me to all these feelings. I remembered this quote, I saw it long ago.
“Give thanks for sorrow that teaches you pity; for pain that teaches you courage — and give exceeding thanks for the mystery which remains a mystery still – the veil that hides you from the infinite, which makes it possible for you to believe in what you cannot see.” – Robert Nathan
I cannot always see how blessed I am, how good I have it, but I will be thankful for what I have.