Finally, Junk Mail I Can Use!

Today was a big day for me in the mail department. I finally went out to check my mail between the dog licking my foot and one of the boys asking me for candy, it was 8:15pm, of course I said no to the kid and tried to get the dog to lick my other foot. My Benji got his first birthday present from Nana, which he will very much enjoy opening tomorrow. The big haul though, a Jesus prayer rug from an OLD church in Tulsa, OK. I’m sure many of you have received said prayer rug and benefited from the power that is sent through bulk mailings. Here is the rug, which I was instructed to use immediately and send back within 24 hours.

My Very Own Prayer Rug With Optical Illusion

They are giving me this opportunity, FIRST! How special I feel. Somehow they felt that something very wonderful was trying to come to me. They gave me a checklist of my needs to check off and send to them. There were many options and I felt if I checked all of them I would look like a greedy, bratty child who wanted it all. So I decided on the following: A New Car (Porsche just came out with a hybrid. Good for the environment is always a plus), A Money Blessing, Pray for God to Bless Me with This Amount of Money$______ (I wrote in $1 million dollars, just enough to eek by on.). I figured those were enough. I’m pretty secure in knowing where I’ll be spending eternity. I don’t need to check the Better Job category because if I get the money blessing I won’t need a job. I’m pretty smart, don’t you think?

I followed the instructions, well, the cats and the dog joined me in filling out this form, so technically, I wasn’t alone. Then I decided to follow the link to more testimonies. BiblicalPrayer.com and then More About St. Matthews Church. This was the website for the VERY OLD Church ministry, established in 1951. I hope my mom never reads that they think that is old, she is almost that age and she loves to remind us that you are only as old as you feel. I guess they feel old.

Of course the online prayer request form has the one I really need: Help with being lonely

I guess we’ll see if they are really going to get me that money, so I don’t have to get a job & I can stay home and let the dog lick my feet while I cook ramen noodles for the kids.

 

*In all seriousness, I believe in prayer and I believe God wants us to pray. I just don’t think he really cares if we use a paper prayer rug sent out by a religious scam artist targeting poor people. I’m sure there are many more needy people in our own neighborhoods who could benefit from our prayers and dollars.

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