Breast cancer sucks.
Having a double mastectomy sucks a lot.
Having another surgery to put in expanders and cadaver skin sucks a little more (but at least it’s going to help in the long run, right?).
I know that being positive and having a good attitude is a major factor in winning my battle with cancer. HOWEVER, not everyday is a good day. Some days I want to give up. I want to cry and scream and punch something. The irony that I cannot physically punch something is not lost on me. I want to take up some form of boxing when I’m done just so I can punch something.
Today was difficult. I felt horrible and cried about almost everything. I hate being uncomfortable and in pain. I hate having drains. I hate taking medicine that messes with my emotions. Today I wanted to give up.
But, I can’t. I can NEVER give up. I have two boys who need me immensely. I have a family that wants me to be around for a while. I have so many reasons to fight and live and be strong.
Today I cried, a whole lot. I held a little pity party for myself. Then, I took a shower, let Ben help me put on my big girl panties, took a Percocet, and decided tomorrow will be better. I’m going to make tomorrow better.
By the way, if you find a poster like this or similar to this, I really REALLY want it. Remember these posters from school book fairs? Yes, I want one. Cause I’m gonna hang in there, baby.